#Breakthrough:Self-Doubt

By: Kolleen Lucariello

I didn’t see it coming. One moment, I thought I was confident and ready to move with God, and the next, I felt a subtle tug — a gentle pull revealing something I hadn’t expected: self-doubt. God was pulling one more Kerplunk stick in my heart, and one by one, marbles of past insecurities began to fall, exposing the places where fear and hesitation had quietly taken root.

I remember the days when I could clearly recognize what I saw as a “God-thing” and, without hesitation, jumped in with both feet. But as He tugged on the stick, I began to notice how self-doubt had quietly accumulated over time — how my identity had become shaped more by disappointment and the opinions of others than by the truth of who I am in Jesus.

Looking back, I believe the seed of self-doubt was planted during what I now call my season of death. It was a time when it seemed that everything I felt God was going to do … died. A good friend was tragically killed in an automobile accident. A years-long friendship unraveled, taking with it ministry dreams I had envisioned for the future. Our time in the church we were attending ended painfully and divisively. Trust in people I had considered family in Christ was shattered through rejection, gossip, and public shaming. At the same time, I entered what many call the empty nest — though in my heart, I began calling it the season of what’s next.

This was a season of hard things, and self-doubt settled deep into my soul. I replayed conversations, situations, and outcomes, wondering where I had failed to hear God correctly. How had I missed Him? How was any of this pain part of His plan? And more importantly, how could I course-correct myself to make sure I’d never walk through something similar again? Perhaps this is when self-doubt began to sound the alarm.

It began whispering things that felt safe. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Kolleen. Stay isolated. Stay silent. Trust is risky. Don't make that mistake again, Kolleen. What will they think of you? I didn’t recognize it as doubt. I thought I was being responsible. Spiritually mature, even. But then the Lord began pressing me with a question I couldn’t ignore: Is this humility or is this hesitation rooted in fear? Ouch.

In that season, it felt as though everything I had worked for, hoped for, and prayed over was being taken from me. And in truth, the enemy was at work, trying to steal what God had promised — planting fear, doubt, and hesitation in my heart. I was doing all the “right” things — praying, serving, giving — yet it felt like I was in the wrong place, trying to build what God had intended, but blocked by pain, loss, and betrayal.

This is exactly what we see in Gideon’s story. God had a specific task for him, but before Gideon could fulfill his calling, God had to speak to his identity: “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” (Judges 6:12) Gideon wasn’t feeling mighty, confident, brave, or chosen. He was threshing wheat in a wine press because an enemy was stealing from Israel. He was surviving, not thriving.

He was operating from fear, not faith, living from an identity shaped by oppression. He questioned God’s declaration because he questioned himself. Gideon, like many of us, was doing the right task, but in a moment clouded by doubt and fear, he almost missed the breakthrough God had prepared.

Do we, like Gideon, live in self-doubt because experience taught us that it’s the safest place to live? Have the voices around us convinced us we are somehow less than? Do we quietly believe we are the least likely to be chosen, seen, or loved?

Just like Gideon, our self-doubt often surfaces when the enemy wants to steal God’s promises. It whispers lies, fuels hesitation, and tries to convince us that God has abandoned us or that we aren’t capable. But Gideon’s story shows us that even in these moments, God meets us in our doubt. He doesn’t shame us for our fear. Instead, He teaches us to lean fully on Him, step into obedience, and trust His timing — even when circumstances feel like loss.

It’s interesting to me that before God could use Gideon to bring a breakthrough to Israel, He first sent Gideon home to pursue a breakthrough in his own family. God essentially said, You are the one I have called and chosen, but first, go clean up your father’s house.

Before the public victory, there had to be a private tearing down. Before national deliverance, there had to be personal obedience.

Sometimes the first breakthrough isn’t out there. It’s in here. It looks like confronting unhealthy family patterns. Removing inherited beliefs. Dismantling generational strongholds. Healing wounds formed at the beginning. And even Gideon was afraid of that assignment. So afraid, he tore down the altar at night! (Judges 6:27). He didn’t start boldly. He started quietly. Carefully. Obediently.

Breakthrough rarely starts boldly. It starts obediently. And here’s what I’m learning: the voice of self-doubt loses its authority when obedience takes action.

Gideon may have worked at night, but he still worked. He may have felt afraid, but he still obeyed. And that obedience became the foundation for everything that followed.

Maybe the breakthrough we’re waiting for isn’t waiting on more confidence. Maybe it’s just waiting on our obedience.

Self-doubt can become a powerful stronghold. It keeps us stuck, small, and silent — even when God has called us mighty, chosen, and capable. It’s a wavering belief in who God says we are. And it often surfaces when obedience calls us forward, but past experiences have backed us into a corner of fear. Moments when being seen, being wrong, or being vulnerable really were unsafe. So hesitation became protection, and insecurity learned to speak louder than faith.

But Gideon’s story reminds us: God meets us in our hesitation. He meets us in our self-doubt. He gently calls us to lean on Him, step into obedience, and trust His timing even when everything around us feels uncertain. And sometimes the first sign of breakthrough isn’t a louder roar of confidence. It’s the quiet surrender of a heart willing to say yes.

If you're ready to take a step toward #breakthrough, come join the discussion. Find a chapter and let’s do the work together. Let’s step forward and #BreakthroughSelfDoubt.