#Stand:UnProvoked

By: Kolleen Lucariello

Encroachment. It’s a term I often hear during one of the many football games you'll find displayed on our television this season. It happens when a player crosses the line too soon—advancing beyond the proper limits before the play begins.

It’s also a great word to describe how I felt the night Pat was set to participate in his NFL Fantasy Draft. He was encroaching on my time when he asked to use my laptop hours before the draft was to begin.

I don’t always have the patience I should during this season. That night, as Pat prepared for the draft, we had a small collision with impatience. It was one of those moments when love and frustration wrestled for control. We both had agendas, and when one agenda encroached upon the other, we were both provoked to impatience. The next day, however, the Lord took over and “downloaded” this poem in me, which got His point across perfectly.

It was the night of the NFL Fantasy Draft,

and Pat was determined the best team he would craft.

Hours before the draft even began, he requested my laptop to set up his plan.

His commitment was deep to ensure the success of login,

so I closed out my tabs and set up his page, then.

But what happened next was totally unexpected.

When he closed the page down and asked me a question.

I was busy with my own activity at the time and failed to hear,

which created some tension between me and the one sitting near.

I began to get tense and felt sorely provoked,

when we both became frustrated and regretfully spoke.

A little irritation and a lot of accusation turned our quiet evening into a minefield of agitation. I’d like to say I handled it well, but the fact of it is, my anger did swell. 

But in that sharp moment, I paused and could see

how small the offense was compared to what makes us, “we.”

For love isn’t provoked, it keeps no long score, it covers, it heals, and always restores.

So next time I’ll pause when my buttons get pressed,

and choose to be patient, so I can respond with my best.

Over the last several months, we’ve sat in Paul’s clothing class, and what a course it’s been! From compassion and kindness to humility and gentleness, he’s been teaching us how to dress according to our divine identity. In his letter to the Colossians, Paul stepped into the role of a spiritual stylist, reminding them, and us, that as God’s chosen, holy, and dearly loved people, we’re meant to wear what reflects Christ—not our old nature.

Each virtue he lists is like a garment tailored by grace, stitched together in love, and designed to fit who we’ve become in Christ. Now, as we move to the final layer—patience—Paul reminds us that what we wear affects how we walk. Impatience never fits a heart clothed in Christ, but patience? That’s the garment that helps us #StandUnprovoked when life tugs, delays, or tests our limits.

When I became a mom, I quickly realized how much I needed more patience. Patience has always been an area of struggle for me, and asking for it has been one of my speed-dial prayers. I’ll never forget the insight God gave me years ago while watching the movie, Evan Almighty. Morgan Freeman, in his role as God, meets Lauren Graham’s character and asks a simple yet profound question: "If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient?"

God may never ask us to build an ark, but He will give each of us opportunities to build patience. Because patience isn’t downloaded—it’s developed. It’s formed in the daily delays, the interruptions, and the moments that test our calm. And, impatience doesn’t always look like tapping your foot or sighing loudly. It can sneak into our hearts and habits in subtle ways we don’t even notice.

Do you ever find yourself interrupting or cutting someone off mid-sentence because you can’t wait to respond? Are you rushing—hurrying through tasks, conversations, or seasons of life? It can become a habit to wish this season away. As kids, we can’t wait to grow up; as parents, we anxiously await each milestone in our children’s lives. Impatience can creep into our words, our attitudes, and even our prayers.

We can so easily be poked and prodded into irritation, outrage, and quick reactions, these days. But if we actively pursue it, we can choose instead to remain steady, calm, and clothed in Christ’s patience. Listen to Paul’s reminder: "As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves in tender compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience" (Colossians 3:12, TLV).

Dressing in the proper attire helps prevent wardrobe malfunctions and reminds us to take off what’s too tight and not made for us. Impatience is indeed something that can go.

Come join us for this month's conversation. Find a chapter here.