#StandUnrelenting!

By: Kolleen Lucariello

"Did I Hurt You, Worm?" That was the question I asked as a three-year-old moments after smashing a rock onto a worm I had just discovered in the dirt. The story has always been one of my parents’ favorites to tell, and is followed by laughter at the blend of absurdity and innocence. I don't think I was trying to be mean; I'm sure I was just completely unaware of the damage my actions would cause ... until after the deed was done.

I wish I could say that over the years, I’ve mastered thinking before acting, or reacting. But the truth is, I haven't always recognized the weight of my words or the impact of my actions until after someone's been hurt or crushed beneath them.

There have been “rocks” like sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, or spiritual platitudes I've tossed at someone’s real pain. At other times, it was my silence when I could’ve spoken up. Or my assumptions, when I thought I knew the whole story, but in reality, I didn’t.

I've tossed rocks when I've judged too quickly, or fired off that text before taking the time to pray. Have you ever corrected before you cared? Perhaps, you, like me, have gone about your days unaware of how easily we could injure others. Especially those already fragile from their own internal battles. Often, by the time I'd lean down to ask, “Did I hurt you?” the damage had already been done.

While I’d love to say I always notice or own the harm right away, I haven’t. It’s taken time—and much unraveling—for me to understand how essential compassion truly is. Not the reactive kind that shows up after the apology, but the proactive kind that moves first. The kind that sees others the way Jesus did: not as problems to fix or avoid, but as people to love. The kind of compassion that moved Jesus to see beyond appearance, behavior, or words and yearn to do what He could to help the people around him.

Maybe that’s why the first garment Paul mentions as he lists our spiritual attire in his letter to the Colossians is compassion. Because compassion isn't just about feeling sorry once the damage is done, it's about learning to see others before we strike; to care before we critique, and to guard against the devil's schemes to turn us cold and uncaring towards one another.

John Nelson Darby, the Anglo-Irish Bible teacher and translator, used the term “bowels of compassion”—a phrase rooted in ancient understanding. In biblical times, the bowels were considered the seat of deep emotion, like how we say “I felt it in my gut” or "I've got a gut feeling..." It speaks to a mercy that comes from deep within. It's a compassion that’s not easily swayed, silenced, or insincere.

And if we apply the word unrelenting to it, well, that just takes it up a notch. We would refuse to let culture, offense, fear, or fatigue move us away from one another. Instead, when we get that feeling in our gut, we wouldn't be able to do anything other than move toward others. Just like Jesus.

Jesus was consistently “moved with compassion” (Greek: splagchnizomai). Whether healing the sick, feeding the hungry, teaching the crowds, or weeping with those grieving, He let mercy lead. Not judgment. Not self-protection. Not convenience. His compassion wasn’t weakness; it was Spirit-led strength in action.

In a world that moves fast and cuts deeply, it’s easy to forget that people are carrying wounds we can’t see. That’s why dressing in unrelenting compassion isn’t optional for those of us who follow Jesus. It’s essential. It means choosing to be moved by love before we’re moved by judgment. It is so easy for me to judge what I see before ever seeking to understand what I don't know. It means refusing to let busyness, burnout, or bitterness talk us out of mercy.

This is what we're talking about this month in our Activ8Her chapters. What it looks like in real life for us to #StandUnrelenting and dress accordingly by clothing ourselves in the gut-level kind of compassion that:

• refuses to give up on people, even in the moments they may push us away.

• forgives repeatedly, even when our emotion and logic says to cut them off.

• engages with empathy: listens without defensiveness, moves toward the hurting, mourns injustice.

• makes room for prayer because sometimes you’re called to intercede, not necessarily intervene.

• keeps mercy central, which leads us toward others with healing, not to hurt or control them.

But let's be clear: unrelenting compassion does not mean we:

• allow ourselves to be walked on or have no boundaries.

• become compulsive or be driven by guilt.

• weaponize wisdom that becomes correction without care.

Unrelenting compassion starts in the gut, but it doesn’t stay there. It moves us toward others with the kind of mercy that mirrors the heart of Christ and is wrapped up in a cloak of love.

As I studied this, I realized: if we got this right, Activ8Her could spark a movement: A movement of women who choose to #StandUnrelenting in their determination to stick to an opinion, purpose, or course of action based on the principles of the Word. A movement that reflects Jesus: steady, merciful, and unrelenting in compassionate care for one another.

We’d love for you to join us as we explore what it looks like to become courageous in our faith, connected in relationships, and confident as we lead others to Christ. Until next time, let’s learn to lay down the rocks and pick up compassion before any more damage is done.

Find a local chapter here.